There are times in your life that despite having your health, food in your fridge and a great life all you can see is darkness. It’s like a FOG, it’s so DARK and completely engulfs you. You can’t think clearly or rationally, and when you do manage to think your thoughts are so dark that it frightens you.
The other day I found myself looking at on oncoming train and thinking I could just walk in front and it would be over. It just seemed almost too easy.
For those who know me, I am not naturally unhappy or depressed I am really positive and peaceful. So to feel this without an life altering trigger, I could not understand my dark thoughts or where the hell they came from?
It went on for days and I did not know myself or how to help myself. Well,I did but refused to. I knew that meditation and self healing would help. But I just could not do it. Until one day I really felt that I had to for my son’s benefit as he was in the firing line of my irregular emotions and it was effecting him. So, bum on the floor my daily meditations and Reiki self healing began. But my efforts were short lived and only offering temporary relief from the darkness.
Why was I find it so hard to find the light again? I could hear my spiritual guides offering me support and healing but I still battled.
Until one day a thought came into my head that this darkness was a separate energy from me and I was feeding it daily with my negative thoughts. What if I could just ask it to leave? After all I created it, so I should be able to ask it to leave?
So while in Newcastle crossing a bridge I shouted ” Get out of my body, this is not my thoughts or actions. I want you to leave, LEAVE NOW!!” All of a sudden I felt that a shell had fallen from my back and I was lighter, happier and more peaceful. The FOG was gone.
So when you are finding it tough and are ready to return to the light, ask the darkness to leave. Do not give it any more power. Shout, scream ask it to leave, as it has no place in your life anymore as you chose the light once again.
Then your road to recovery will begin, it will not happen over night. But you’ll get there. Take control over your life again.